Niagara Falls Reporter
Home | Archive / Search
JULY 28 - AUGUST 04, 2015

City Hall Jokes

JULY 28, 2015

Paul Dyster, Andy Touma and the city finance advisory panel walk into a bar. Dyster and Touma turn to the panel members and shout, “We want to thank you for kicking the budget responsibility can down the road to Albany! Drinks and dinner on us!”

“The New York State Comptroller’s audit of city finances? What New York State Comptroller’s audit of city finances?”

(A dereliction of duty thought bubble above the heads of the city council majority)

Carmen Granto, the chairman of the city finance advisory panel, told the mayor and council that they have, “Done an amazing job with the tools you have.” Uh-huh. The mayor and council majority had $90 million in casino revenue and they still drove the budget off the cliff. Pretty “amazing.”

How are a can of beans stamped July 20, 2015 and Paul Dyster’s candidacy similar?

They’ve both reached their expiration date.

What Mayor Dyster said and what Mayor Dyster meant:

He said: “The council was wise to approve the state finance restructuring plan.”

He meant: “Thank God they approved the state finance restructuring plan and took all fiscal responsibility off my desk!”

Great minds think alike.

A reporter to President Bush: “Mr. President why did you go to war with Iraq based on faulty intelligence?”

Bush: “Congress authorized my war!”

A reporter to Mayor Dyster: “Mr. Mayor why did you waste $90 million in casino cash?”

Dyster: “The city council authorized my spending!”

“When you’re done with your presentation I don’t want to see a dry eye in the room.”

Mayor Dyster to Carmen Granto minutes before Granto addressed the city council last week.

“Great job, you actually had me believing that nonsense.”

Mayor Dyster to Carmen Granto minutes after Granto addressed the city council last week.

The Paul Dyster Fan Club announced the location of their next meeting. It’s the corner booth at McDonalds in the city market.

Firemen, save this budget! After faithfully supporting Paul Dyster with large campaign donations since 2007 the mayor surprised the firefighters union by handing all city fiscal responsibility over to the state. Proving once again that there are two types of people in Dyster’s world: the ones he already screwed over and the ones he eventually screws over.

 

Next Story >>

 

 

 

 

 

Paul Dyster: Incompetent at Every Level
Dyster Recycling Program a Bust; Numbers Show Chump Change Return
Dyster Engineering Disaster Here; City Engineer Job Remains Open
The Best and the Brightest? No, Just the Most Expensive
Senator Ortt Questions Cuomo Wage Hike
Waste is the Name of the Game for Dyster and His Casino Spending Plans
Residents of 72nd Street Dreading Third Winter With No Running Water
City Streets a Mess as Dyster’s Attention Turns to Cricket Field
Signs Point to Dyster Loss
Dyster’s Record as Crime Fighter Dismal, to Put it Very Charitably
Dyster and Touma Produce Stage Play-Story Here
Dementia Care Conference in Niagara County
State Audit Rejects Dyster’s Version of Fiscal Facts Dyster Blames State-Seneca Impasse For City Financial Woes
Dyster Orders up Sweet Job for SWEET Employee Brook D’Angelo
Alicia Laible Says City Should Be Run More Like Private Business
On the Campaign Trail
Only In NT: Vote for Real Public Servants this Year!
Death Notice
Facts are Facts Seneca , Albany Wins Big, Dyster is Small
Letters to the Editor
'Too White' Neighborhoods Slated for Change
Skrlin the Great Teaches PHD
Taxpayer Watchdog Poloncarz Finds Sweetheart Assessment for Himself
NT History Museum Book Sale Saturday
Grati Awarded Sass Scholarship
The Rookies -1
A Poem and Rhyme of Childish Nonsense, Mirth and Absolutely No Worth
City Hall Jokes

Contact Info

©2014 The Niagara Falls Reporter Inc.
POB 3083, Niagara Falls, N.Y. 14304
E-mail: info@niagarafallsreporter.com
Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina