City Hall Jokes

$50 million courthouse failed to spur Main Street rebirth. Check.
$89 million in casino cash spent with nothing to show for it. Check.
$44 million senseless train station already $1 million over budget. Check
Frozen water pipes for residents and no fix in sight. Check.
Return Dyster to office. No!

The wife is always last to know. We understand that Paul Dyster was shocked to learn that his “loyal incumbent Democrat office holders” had sneakily stopped carrying his election petitions three weeks ago. Dyster’s coattails from 2011 have become a noose around Democratic candidate necks for 2015.

Ask the man who owns one. We hear that legendary magician David Copperfield phoned Mayor Dyster last week. He told the mayor, “I’ve made an elephant and an army tank disappear in front of a live audience, but even I couldn’t make $89 million vanish into thin air!”

John Accardo hit a Dyster nerve during a July 8 press conference as he accused the mayor of mismanaging the city budget. Dyster lashed out blaming Accardo for the city’s financial problems from 20 years ago. His Honor stopped short of blaming Accardo for the collapse of the Greece economy.

Dyster talk versus straight talk:
Dyster talk: “I’m building a $44 million train station that will employ some union workers. I’m sure you want people to have jobs!”

Straight talk: “It’s a $44 million needless train station not a government jobs program. The taxpayers can’t afford to fund the Paul Dyster employment agency!”

There’s no truth to the rumor that Dyster’s petition passers, in a last minute act of desperation, were telling LaSalle residents “Sign the damn petition or we’ll freeze your water pipes!”

City hall question of the week, circle the one you believe will happen first:
A) Solar City will locate in Niagara Falls
B) General Motors will build an engine plant in Niagara Falls
C) Martians will invade Niagara Falls
D) They all have the same chance of occurring

Political dictionary:
Ice Pavilion - a frozen hole in the ground that Paul Dyster has poured 13 million taxpayer dollars into.