Reporter to publish ‘Good News’ stories more frequently

Example of “Good News” reporting: In the bad old days - before the Reporter changed to more “good news” reporting - we would have pointed out the bad news that our lovely friend (below) is cross-eyed. Now we would publish the “good news” that she has a nice smile! See the difference? “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

Good news.

The Niagara Falls Reporter will be publishing good news whenever possible.

A lot of people complain that all we publish is bad news and they like good news.

So the good news is that even when we are short on good news we will try to convert bad news into good news.

And that’s good news for our readers who crave more good news.

For example if someone dies we will try to publish the faces of his enemies smiling.

Or if your mayor takes $150,000 of your hard-earned money and puts it into a penguin habitat instead of providing drinking water for the humans on 72nd St we will show the happy faces of consultants who get to study the problem and penguins and even cricket players.

All is good. Everything is fine.

The city with the world’s greatest waterfalls and most powerful natural hydro-electric power generation in the nation, that should be one of the richest cities in North America, is one of the poorest, riddled with crime and high taxes.

It is a place that needs happy news.

And ignorance is bliss.