City Hall Jokes

Mayor Dyster and the council majority walk into a bar. The council majority turns to the bartender and says, "The mayor is going to order whatever he wants and howevermuch he wants and that's fine with us, just send the bill to city hall!"

Meeting announcement of the Paul Dyster Fan Club: This month's get together will be held in the basement broom closet of the Como Restaurant.

Kristen Grandinetti lashed out recently at Mayor Dyster's critics over Facebook writing that she is upset at all the "mayor bashing" going on. Always the schoolteachershe ordered Dyster's critics to stand in the corner.

"It looks like frozen pipes, a $50,000,000 train station, $63,000,000 city debt, higher taxes, crime and a bungled trash plan have pushed us off the front page."- ALaSalle rat.

When Donna Owens heard that the Aquarium Penguins were given $150,000 in casino cash she said, "I sure do hope those funny little birds spend the money responsibly."

Professional discourtesy. Sylvia Virtuoso the Town of Niagara Clerk took to Facebook to defend Paul Dyster and claim that at $78,000 per year the mayor, like "otherelected officials, "is over worked and under paid. Really, Mrs. Virtuoso? We'll take two of your Town snow plows, you can have Mayor Dyster.

Location, location, location. Hollywood producers are going to be in town next week scouting locations for the sequel to the hit movie, Frozen. "From what weunderstand 72nd Street will be perfect," said Jeremy Pivkin of Disney Studios.

Overheard at the recent planning session of the Paul Dyster Dog Pound Committee: "My pit bull's favorite bone is in my arm."

Political dictionary

City Engineer: A formerly mandatory city position that Paul Dyster essentially removed from government so that he can 1) complain that he has no engineer 2) hire afriendly outside consultant 3) pass the tremendous cost on to the taxpayers, all in violation of the city charter.

"I rob banks because that's where the money is." Willie Sutton

"I drain the casino account because that's where the money is." Paul Dyster

"Talk is cheap yet consultants are so very expensive. Isn't that ironic?" Paul Dyster in a rare moment of reflection.