More Cheap Laughs With Dyster Beer Jokes

There’s no truth to the rumor that Dyster replaced his office water cooler with Heineken. It’s Corona.

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After two terms of Mayor Dyster, the international beer judge, city residents are now sadder-bud-wiser.

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Paul Dyster has carried a great looking six pack on him for years and he never needed stomach crunches to get it…just a quick trip to the Tops beer aisle. 

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What’s the difference between Mayor Dyster and a college student on spring break? The mayor chugs faster. 

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Residents are wondering what happened to Dyster’s “Meet the Mayor” night. We hear it’s been replaced with “Drink and Drown with the Mayor” night.

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You have to hand it to Dyster, he’s managed to take the nation’s most abused drug – alcohol – and work it into every aspect of his elected office: special events, taxpayer supported subsidies, the arts, music and his own Erie County business. Who said the guy can’t get things done?

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Some folks think Mayor Dyster has taken his beer thing a little too far…his honor now wants to start handing out “bottle openers to the city” instead of “keys to the city.”

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I’m not saying Dyster has an issue with drinking but he’s the only city hall employee that uses a Breathalyzer before logging on to his computer. 

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After seeing what’s happened to Niagara Falls these last 6 years the Niagara Falls police should consider a new impaired driving charge: “DWG” …Drunk While Governing