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DEC 23, 2014 - JAN 07, 2015

More Jokes on City Hall

December 23, 2014

Kristen Grandinetti, fresh off her "I can't breathe" rally, is now going to hold her "I can't keep my mouth shut" rally to be followed by her "I can't seem to get elected as council chairwoman" rally.

We understand that with Dyster's $20,000 cash retirement incentive in place that there's been non-stop retirement parties at city hall with little work getting done. In other words it's business as usual.

Dyster wrote on his Facebook page as to how he was tragically conflicted over having to choose between cheering for the Buffalo Bills and the Green Bay Packers while sitting in his executive box at Ralph Wilson Stadium. It's tough being Mayor Paul Dyster.

The theme music of the 2015 budget "players" is as follows:

Maria Brown – "I did it my way"

Paul Dyster – "Mr. Cellophane"

Donna Owens – "The tears of a clown"

Charles Walker – "Dazed and Confused"

Kristen Grandinetti – "Thick as a Brick"

City Residents – "The Sounds of Silence"

Tom Darro and Paul Dyster were rushed to the hospital immediately following the appearance of the mayor on Darro's show last week. Emergency room physicians had to pry the disc jockey's lips from Dyster's hindquarters.

If Dyster succeeds in opening his own animal shelter then it will be official: Niagara Falls will have gone to the dogs.

Paul Dyster told Darro "I'm the gatekeeper of the casino money." That title is not to be confused with his other two titles of "Grand Poobah of Outer Slabovia" and "Supreme Beer Judge of the Free World."

Mayor Dyster was really, really upset that he had to withdraw his resolution to give the Hard Rock $27,000 of taxpayer money for a New Year's Eve Party. Looks like he'll have to find a different taxpayer-sponsored event at which to announce his reelection campaign.

Cayuga Island residents tell the Reporter that the Jayne Park plan has made a complete mess of the park. Well, $280,000 doesn't buy what it used to.

Heard at a council budget meeting:

"Councilman Walker looks like he's dead."

"Nah, he's just sleeping. Again."

Heard at a council meeting:

"Donna Owens looks like she's sleeping."

"That's because she's sleeping."





Crogan Prosecution Further Evidence Of Political Influence on Justice System
An Apology From Rick Crogan
Casino Cash Could be Used as Spur For Genuine Economic Development
Falls Taxpayers can Learn a Casino-Cash Lesson From Sesame Street
Dyster: "I'm The Gatekeeper of Casino Funds!"
Another Skrlin Masterpiece: Budge It
2015 Budget Wrap-Up
The Year 2014; It was a Very Good Year
It Took a While, but Cuomo Bans Fracking
Dyster Press Release May Signal Intention to Overturn Frackwater Ban Frack waste water treatment not banned by Cuomo decision
Progress Hinted in Probe of Hit-Run Death of NT Student
Letters to the Editor
Ceretto Keeps Word, Files Campaign Disclosures Walker Now Only Elected Official in WNY to Not File
Dr. Aalto to Join OB/GYN Center at Falls Memorial
Mad Dash for Council Chairmanship is Shaping Up
Alzheimer's Association Offers Free Workshop in Niagara Falls
Franciscan Order on Verge of Bankruptcy After Financial Fraud is Uncovered
More Jokes on City Hall
US?Executions Drop to Lowest Level in Two Decades
This Week in Stupid Crime
Ask Dr. Ann
Cuomo Wants Taxpayers To Pay for Medicaid Sex Change Operations

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©2014 The Niagara Falls Reporter Inc.
POB 3083, Niagara Falls, N.Y. 14304
Phone: (716) 284-5595

Publisher and Editor in Chief: Frank Parlato
Managing Editor: Dr. Chitra Selvaraj
Senior Editor: Tony Farina