Ask Mr. Know All

Hi Jean; it’s a pleasure to write you, hope we can be friends, please feel free to reply me so that i can send some more of my pictures for you to know me. I will be expecting your mail soon. thanks; your friend
Melissa

Melissa?

Melissa?

Dear Melissa;
I got your letter and unfortunately your picture got mixed up with another person. Before I answer your inquiry, which one of the pictures is you?

Dear Sir
Your paper always write articles against big government doing social engineering. And write against government being a big nanny state. I hate that. If only government had made a law against too many tattoos, my life would gave been far different. I wanted it to be a law that makes it against the law to have more than 20 tattoos on any one human head. But conservatives like you were against it.
I blame you.
Ralph Headwicke

Dear Ralph;Yes, it would be a law against stupidity. By the way is that a solid silver nose ring?

Left: Before pasta diet; Right after two weeks on all-pasta diet.

Dear Jean
I went on the all pasta diet as recommended in your astrology column and finally got the fulsome figure I always craved. Thanks.
Bubbles B.

Dear Jean;
I want to know if my girl loves me for me or for my money?
Walter

Dear Walter; It is my surmise that yes she does.

Dear Sir; I don’t want to seem nosey but what is this infatuation you have with the beautiful women of Niagara?
Barbara B.

Dear Barb
Have you considered the many wonderful advances made in the last 20 years in the field of plastic surgery?

Dear Jean; I was wondering if you could find out if William Shatner wears a toupee. I can’t tell.
Curious

From a toupological perspective, has an impressive head of hair. Shatner’s hair looks real

Shatner looks good...

Dear Jean;
I love the beach and like to spend all my time there. Should I wear sunscreen? --Lana

Dear Lana; Yes. By the way I love your hourglass figure.

Dear Jean;
My boss keeps riding me at work. he’s always on my back and trying to get me to do his work for him. I try to make out like I am not upset but it is starting to get to me. Should I quit my job? -
Janey

Dear Janey
Jobs are tough to come by for someone as unattractive as you. I would hold on to the job if it is not too a heavy a lift.